One of the first and, I presume to be, everlasting realizations that I gathered from the first dip of my toes into the transgender community was the vast diversity of it’s members. T-Girls come from all walks of life; they have different ways of projecting their image, different goals, different philosophies of why they are transgendered, what the transgender community consists of, etcetera and so on.

I have always also felt there was an above average intelligence and sense of independence and individuality about the transgender woman. I suppose much of that is born out of necessity as you discover early on in your life that you aren’t like anyone you know.

Diversity and individuality are wonderful concepts for a world but not necessarily for a group of individuals in search of much needed solidarity in trying to gain momentum in a blossoming quest for societal education, tolerance and acceptance. If I had a magic wand or was named Transgender Czar for a day I would wish for the following.

I would wish that all part-time living-in-stealth T-Girls be they once a month cross dressers, transvestites, any other type of TG with no desire to go fulltime or TS in early phase of self discovery take a minute to thank their full-time post transitioned TS cousins that have gone before them. While the rest of us live and hide [yes, I too am guilty as charged] in our safe male worlds far from the whispers, sneers and outright hate, the full time TS carries the burden of our collective fight forward on her shoulders alone day after day. The rest of us gain with her small steps forward but we are not asked to pay the price of lost jobs, family and friends. Think about that the next time your biggest girl worry is what color sling backs match the skirt you just purchased.

I would also wish that the very, very few TS girls, who think this full time status entitles them to special status in the community, or exclusive membership in the community, re-think their ironically discriminating position. These girls sometime take the position that part time girls or especially cross dressers are not “real” woman, but are rather only fetishists, hobbyists, or those ‘playing girl’. Apparently commitment to the operation and living full time are barometers these choosy girls use to exclude the rest of their brethren. I find this particularly ironic in light of the understanding that most everyone in the TG community and much of the medical community now believe that transgenderism is a biological trait as identified in the hypothalamus portion of the brain. If this is true, we are “born to the kingdom” so to speak and everything else that may follow seems to enhance but not validate the biology.

Truth is there are many reasons a T-Girl may choose not to follow the journey the full time girls chooses. Not the least of these is pre-existing family commitments, medical circumstances, finances, and incomplete self analysis. And then there are the girls who enjoy both their male and female side. To me all are girls in someway and I believe that in time science will prove conclusively that all transgender people are made up of biological male and female components in differing quantities of gender identity, emotional and physiological traits.

But until then I have a second wish for all that the t-girls out there. Let’s try putting ourselves in the Other Girl’s Shoe for just a moment, every so often......:)